Okay, so throughout the course of two and a half days, I have come to the realization of a couple of things that do bother me a bit:
- It really sucks to not talk to a really good friend for a day, but I don’t seem to mind when I don’t devote quality time to God every day.
- I still really want to pour my heart out to my best guy friend as opposed to trusting it with my good girl friends.
- I realize that God has not been my Best Friend and that I haven’t been coming to Him for advice first
- I’m beginning to pine over people – pathetic
- There are a couple other things, but I’m not quite sure how to put them into words.
Lord, I ask that You would please address these issues. Please burden my heart to go to You before I go to anybody and to spend more time or an equal amount of time with You as I do my other friends. Lord God, I don’t understand why I’m still holding back with telling my friends what’s going on in my life, but You do. The only thing I can think of is that I have to actually put it in words for them and I have to tell them over and over and I just get tired of it.
Lord God, one thing that I have enjoyed is not going into the gossip feel of conversations with some of my friends. I like having quiet time with You and I like being able to go to bed early and to get up at a decent time. I like the fact that I’m not near as attached to my phone as I thought I was, but I am still pretty addicted to the internet; if we could address that would be cool. I like that this has given me time to realize that my attachment to some people really is an attachment, just not a being comfortable in the way things are. I like the fact that I’m missing people in a way that makes me know that I’m genuinely attached to them because they edify me and they make me happy, but not just happy; joyful, they make me think about what You would have me do. They are there for me when I am hurting… Lord God, I hope I do the same for them??
So, this has been a very good thing for me, I can honestly say. I still don’t like it because I don’t like not talking to people, but God, this has given me the chance to talk to You more. I like that I was able to start on a couple of books that I know will help me immensely.
God, all in all, I’m thankful for this time. I’m thankful that You are showing me what I need to do to get closer to You. I’m thankful that You’re showing me my faults and what I need to improve on to further my relationships with the people that I know. Lord God, there have been several friends that I made last year that have basically change my life. I know of six right now that if I didn’t know them I would not be who I am today, and I can’t thank You enough for the time with them that You’ve blessed me with. I love them all so much; from the very bottom of my heart.
And my dear sister who I’ve known for years; if it hadn’t been for her listening to me complain over and over and over and over about the same silly thing, I don’t know what I would have done. She was wonderful and is wonderful to me and I just…I wish I could express to her how truly I grateful for her. She’s been there for me through the worst and laughed with me through the best. I only hope that I can do the same.
Lord God, another thing I would like to work on is to be able to serve my friends as well as they serve me. I feel like I am lacking in being what a friend should be to them, and that bothers me. I want to be able to be there for them, to talk to them, to give them advice, without sounding harsh. For Pete sake’s, I’ve receive two bouquets of flowers and a gift from three of them in one week! They show how they care in so many ways and I just wonder at them wanting to be around me half the time because compared to them I am nothing! Nothing, my Father! Please, may I reciprocate all the amazing love that they show me.
I love You, my Dear, Sweet, Abba. Precious King, You are, I lift Your name on high that You might be glorified. Through my pain, through my joy, through the dark and the light, I praise You, because You are my High Priest, the Lover of my soul, my dear, sweet Husband.
Amen and amen.
Signing out.